More for your Mind, Body and Soul : Must Sees Across Site

As some 1000+ crew descend on site for the 8th build for Noisily, the woods are once again a hive of activity as structures rise from the forest floor towards the canopy above. 

The Mind Body Soul area, now in its 4th year at Noisily and half the age of the festival itself, has continued to grow organically as our festival family grows year on year with many beautiful offerings & new spaces to explore.  

We are excited to announce that we have made the decision to move the Mind Body Soul into the woods, having opened a stunning new area which we have spent the year clearing and cultivating. In doing so the team have created a truly stunning space amongst the trees where you can meander, explore and stumble across a plethora of healing modalities, talks, workshops and more. 

In the spirit of non-duality, we are keen to integrate the Mind Body Soul attractions in the main arena, and have some incredible artists and healers bringing their skills to the forest floor. 

Here are some of the things you’ve got to look forward to next weekend. 

Noisily Stage Sound Healing

Sonic Enchantment with Fabio Garces – Shamanic Sound Journey, Sunday 10 – 11am

Sound maestro Fabio Garces brings Sonic Enchantment to the Noisily Stage, taking you on a deep shamanic sound journey through our enormous Funktion One Sound System, with the 32 inch bass bins offering a breadth of frequencies allowing you to reconnect, rebalance & float off into Sunday.

Prepare to connect with the Earth, our inherent nature and the wisdom that is available to us in this deep intuitive place within. For this special session on the main stage sound system there will be a focus on Amplifying natural Earth frequencies and incorporating shamanic sound principles used in South American plant medicine ceremonies.

Sonic Enchantment integrates a mixture of old world and new world technology, the performance fuses underground electronica, binaural frequencies, hypnotic melodies, ethereal soundscapes and ancient sacred sounds. The resulting effect serves to create personal experiences that span a wide range of transformative benefits such as restoration and the re-emergence of balance and inner calm. Definitely an experience you don’t want to miss, and a perfect way to kick off our last day at the festival. See you Sunday morning.

Breathpod Presents Modul 7, Saturday 10 – 11:30am

Breathpod founder teams up with Techno wizard John Monkmon again to craft a fully immersive breath & sound experience – conscious connected breath with a live set designed to activate energies, root to crown. 

Inside the Nooks of our Mind Body Soul 

Moving into the woods have given us more opportunity to connect with nature, absorbing the energy of the woodland we are privileged to call home. In amongst the trees of Mind Body Soul you’ll stumble across the following…

Free Movement with Flo from Embodied Balance

The founder of our Mind Body Soul area, Flo Cannon-Audley is offering free “free movement” sessions on Thursday at 6pm, and Friday afternoon at 3pm.

Feel free and let your body flow. Tune into the internal physical experience of movement and shake out all the kinks before you hit the dance floors. 

This free movement exercise taps into the felt sense of the physical being to reveal the innate wisdom of the body, encouraging you to be your greatest ally and teacher. Cultivate moment to moment presence with movement and music.

Daily Qi Going with Naemma, Shakura & Thorayya

Join Naemma, Shakura & Thorayya for this ancient form of healing meditation to connect into ourselves, all the beautiful nature around us and the cosmos. Balance & harmonise in the woods at 12pm daily throughout the weekend. 

Qigong, a healing form of moving meditation drawing on the four thousand year heritage of Qigong, recalibrated for our contemporary times by Dr Pang Ming to bring re-alignment with nature as the world around us rapidly changes in the anthropocene era. 

It unifies mind, body and soul – strengthening, healing and harmonising the connections between the different aspects of ourselves internally, and the connections between us in our respective communities and societies, and with all of nature and the cosmos itself. It is profoundly nourishing and brings deep inner peace.

International Hunyuan Qi therapists Naeema Hales, Shakura Meddings and Thorayya Mears study directly under Master Yuantong Liu in China who has been studying and teaching Zhineng Qigong for over forty years and has been taught directly by Grandmaster Dr Pang Ming.


Bringing their unique flavour & creativity to Noisily, Unami will be offering different performances & rituals each day, inviting you to connect & join in weaving meaningful magic in the woods together.

Satellite Venues – New Spots to Discover Amongst the Trees

Hypnosis Lounge

With an extensive menu of meditations, hypnosis recordings and PowerNaps, John & Heloise invite you to come on a journey of positive healing and transformation through carefully chosen sessions for you. 

The Hypnosis Lounge: is a space for shedding the limiting beliefs, masks and layers that keep us from living our authentic connected lives.

With an extensive menu of meditations, hypnosis recordings and PowerNaps… 

We’ll help you choose the session that’s right for you: relaxation, creativity, flow states, letting go of stress, setting goals, empowering habits, gratitude… and more, whatever it is you want.

Come join us, experience mental and spiritual transformation. Enhanced well-being through the relaxing medium of hypnosis and guided meditations for FREE.

All inside a tranquil and peaceful environment where you can sit back, slip of a pair of headphones and come on a journey of positive healing and transformation.

Welcome to the Hypnosis Lounge!

The Herbal Recuperation Station

All are welcome to join for a range of herbal teas, sensory immersion, workshops, storytelling & ceremonies; recuperate, make your own blends, indulge your senses or even bring an instrument to join the fun! 

Come and recuperate with our specially formulated teas to help you through a number of problems such as; Hangovers, period pain, nausea or even just to give you an energising cacao boost! Our theatrical witches with host you with a variety of interesting workshops, storytelling and tea ceremonies! This year we will be working on special sensory rooms where you can taste, touch and smell the different herbs, creating an exciting learning environment for all ages! Feel free to jam and bring instruments, all are welcome!

Psychedelic Colouring Tent

Come and join us in the Psychedelic Colouring Tent for a free colouring sheet and let your creativity flow with pencils, glitter pens and markers for as little or as long as you like. Float away into psychedelic inkscapes, rest, recharge and leave your worries behind!

We are passionate about spreading the message about safe and appropriate psychedelic use and Jessica is the writer and illustrator of the Psychedelic Harm Reduction Colouring Book.

Earth Mamma Essential Oils Lounge 

Immerse yourself in the world of therapeutic grade essential oils to learn, share & explore pure plant power with Introduction & ‘Make & Take’ workshops running all weekend.

Learn how they can be used safely and efficiently to support our body. Pick up simple natural solutions to ease ailments, settle symptoms and enhance our well-being.

Leave empowered with a wealth of information of how you can integrate oils into your lifestyle and reduce toxicity in your home.

Join Paulina & her team for a host of workshops over the weekend; create your own bespoke blends or just pop in to explore & enjoy their magical aromas. Lean into your senses & experience the power of natural healing.

Running throughout the weekend:

Intro Class Workshop: An introduction to the physical and emotional benefits of using essential oils for our health and well-being. Book HERE.

Make & Take Workshop: Fancy a more hands-on, crafty approach? Enjoy a shortened version of the introduction class PLUS each guest chooses an item to make and take home. Book HERE.

FREE – AromaTouch hand massages will be offered by advanced booking only

Sacred Fire

Nestled away in the Mind Body Soul, the Sacred Fire will be lit at our Opening Ceremony at 9pm Thursday evening, and be kept alight for the duration of the festival by our wonderful team of fire keepers from the Craft Tipi.

Come huddle, tell stories & bring an instrument for fireside jams – all are welcome. 

Mind, Beats, Soul 

Follow your ears for live & alternative beats coming up in the top woods & campsite.

Future of Living 

Evenings curated by And What London


Join the Shanti’s crew in the main campsite for delicious food, live world music, performance, spoken word and all round vibes.

A collective of chefs, artists and musicians based in Sheffield, Shanti’s mission is to bring fresh flavours and future music from around the universe to the forests and fields of the UK.

We’re pulling out the stops to bring you a globetrotting, space age extravaganza of cultures from this planet and beyond! Featuring obscure late-night cinema, eclectic DJs and mind-warping live acts, we’re also bringing our brand new fusion menu, and will be hosting a variety of talks and workshops throughout the weekend.

Your Guide to a Greener Noisily, and beyond…

A few months ago a member of our Noisily family and keen environmentalist called Sasha got in touch, wanting to contribute to the “Looking After the Woods Initiative”.  We love engaging with our crowd of wonderful humans, and love to hear their ideas. So without further ado, here is Sasha’s Guide to a Greener Noisily…



It’s that time of the year again and in under a week we’ll be diving back into the Coney Woods to dance, frolic, laugh, hug, kiss, dance and dance again. As every year, the Noisily Family strive to leave no trace – nay – leave the woods cleaner than we all found them.

The team have continued to develop and build upon the “Looking after the Woods Initiative”, alongside sterling efforts from all of you who joined together in the woods, and this year we should all be working harder still to ensure our shenanigans play out with the utmost environmental consciousness.

Here are some super simple, effective suggestions for an even greener Noisily. Check out our list of alternative products and solutions that will get you through the festival beautiful and clean and leave nature unscathed.


Guide to a Greener Noisily 

Wet Wipes

Wet Wipes that clog no pipes! Don’t worry, we won’t tell you to wipe your sexy bottoms with leaves, but we found a pretty damn good alternative to those nasty wet wipes.

Sure they can be quite practical, especially in the heat. However they are awfully bad for the environment and in fact will be banned in the UK by 2020. Check out this article by friends of the earth if you want to know more about the effect wet wipes have on the environment.

Considering this, we were pretty pumped to find Jackson Reece wipes, and here are the benefits:

Made from wood pulp, instead of synthetic fibre.

UK-made, which reduces the CO2 output from transportation.

Vegan & cruelty-free.


Fully biodegradable & compostable.

Decompose after 12 weeks in landfill; dissolve in water after 10 days.


Make-Up Remover

Remove make-up the eco-friendly way by using reusable alternatives:

Make-Up Remover Cloth.
Make-Up Eraser
Washable Bamboo & Cotton Pads
Coconut Oil or Shea Butter & a simple towel do the trick as well!


Hair and Body

Shampoos and body washes often contain chemicals that our bodies simply don’t need. Also, they enter the soil and water supplies, which can be harmful for nature and us.
Faith in Nature offers eco-friendly, chemical-free solutions that make your hair silky smooth and your body clean and fresh.

Get more info on Faith in Nature and order all you need here:

Dry Shampoo

Unspray My Heart, use these alternatives:

Corrine Taylor Dry Shampoo Powder
Oil-absorbing Dry Shampoo by Lush

If you’re blonde, baby powder works like a gem! Here’s one by Babipur that is talc-free and UK-made.


Cigarette Papers, Filters & Butts

Many companies offer unbleached, natural papers and filters. For instance, check out products by RAW. You can purchase their filters and papers at most convenience stores and tobacco shops.

But what happens after smoking?

You will find special bins for your cigarette butts scattered all over the festival. But guys, what if I’m in the middle of the dancefloor, you ask? No need to throw those butts around, how about a portable ashtray? You can order them in bulk from amazon, they fit right in your pocket. Once your pocket ashtray is full, empty it in the designated bin.


We all love it, especially at festivals: Glitter. Unfortunately, a lot of products contain micro-plastic particles. Check out our alternatives and make sure to visit some of the vendors at Noisily who will be selling eco-friendly alternatives.

Ecostardust offer biodegradable glitter that comes to you in sustainable aluminium tins. And there is a bonus: if you send in your old glitter, you’ll get a 15 % discount on their products. Your non-bio glitter will be sent to Rochfort Customs in Cornwall, who will upcycle it into fabulous jewellery.


Everything Else

You bet ya! Apart from switching to eco-friendly products, there is a range of things you can do to keep the Coney Woods beautiful and neat:

Don’t forget to bring a water bottle! Bottles made from copper keep your drink chilled longer and have amazing health benefits. You can get them on amazon or check out these beautifully painted ones by Dunya Ayurveda, which come in different sizes. For anyone living in London, you can get their products at the Camden market!

Bring our own refillable cup! We recommend tin cups, they are light-weight and unbreakable. You can get them pretty much anywhere that sells camping gear. Our bars will have reusable cups that attract a £1 deposit.

Use the bins! They are everywhere and if you cannot find one, please put your trash in your bag, pocket, boyfriend’s hand, etc. Anywhere but on the precious ground.

Please do not throw wet wipes, tampons, sanitary pads, etc in the toilets. Use the bins!

Take care of each other, stay hydrated and respect your environment, and remember to have a wonderful, magical time amongst those trees.

See you in the Woods.

Sasha and the Noisily Team xxx

2019 Mind Body Soul Program Revealed

Each year, as our family grows in diversity and interests, our healing area program grows with it, attracting healers, yogis, intellectuals, visionaries and teachers from around the globe – all of them bursting to share their knowledge and sacred practices with you.

As our recent video putting a spotlight on our healing area attests to, Noisily is more than just a party, it’s about making meaningful connections with wonderful people, nature, and ourselves. And it is our intention to that these connections will ripple out into the world and lead to the real change which is so badly needed in the world today.

It’s with these intentions that we have lovingly crafted the Mind Body Soul program along the theme ‘Human Connection.’

Check out our full program on the posters below, or browse in more depth here, where you can also book yourself in for our workshops and other offerings (some offerings are not listed here yet, keep and eye out in the coming weeks for the full listings.)

We can’t wait to welcome you into Coney woods in July to join us in celebration, dance and healing.

Full Mind Body Soul Line up is live and on sale

Delve into the (almost) full program here.

The festival world is an eye opening, mind altering playing field, where vibrations are raised and consciousness expanded. As we dive into experience with enthusiastic abandon, getting ever closer to the optimal state of universal flow where we exist in our fullest selves, with unashamed presence, the feeling of oneness with the universe is tangible.

In our Mind Body Soul area we actively work to remove the separation between ourselves and nature, and those who surround us, and in doing so connect with our higher self via the medium of spiritual practices, healing, and the sharing of knowledge. The sooner we as human beings acknowledge that we are all part of this ecosystem we call Earth, and not detached from it or superior to it, the closer we become to realising our true purpose, and the infinite possibilities which lay in our connectivity and relationships.

In 2018, festival co-founder, psychedelic culture and wellness enthusiast, and all round viber Lachie Gordon Athie, has taken on the management of the Mind Body Soul area. Building on the incredible foundations laid by Florence Cannon, who curated and produced the space for the past two years before moving on to pursue her passion for yoga – see 2018 program for Yoga with Flo – it was a natural progression to keep the production in house.

Lachie and his dedicated support team, including long standing friend Helen “Hely” Cameron, are all active participants in the holistic sphere, and as a result the attention to detail, diversity of content and passion in this year’s program is evident.

Here are just a few of the highlights you can look forward to in 2018, and we’ll be sharing plenty more in the coming weeks, including information on our pre-booking system for yoga, therapies, workshops, hot tubs, and our all new banqueting house!


Coney Henge, the UK’s largest traveling Planetarium – Read more here.

The Universe is returning to Noisily. Coney Henge links the most ancient kind of astronomical observatory with the newest. Stop by when the sky is dark and clear to take a peek through our telescopes at planets, ancient star clusters, and distant galaxies, guided by professional astrophysicists you even promise to let you hold their space rocks!

By day (and night), Dr Ben Burningham develops cutting edge tools to study the atmospheres of alien worlds beyond our own Solar system, using the biggest telescopes and computers in the world.  He’s excited to be sharing some of the most awesome sights of the Universe with you, and has brought a unique treat to Noisily this year…

Brought to you by the Centre for Astrophysics Research and the School of Creative Arts at the University of Hertfordshire, the Cosmodrome repurposes the UK’s largest mobile planetarium with a cutting-edge sound diffusion system to create an immersive audio-visual space for education, exploration and contemplation. By day, it will host planetarium shows, lectures, workshops and audio-visual art. By night, it will be the place to drop in and space out to spectacular high definition full dome projections of the cosmos, served up with a variety of psychedelic musical scores.


Yoga & Movement


This is just a tiny selection of our offering, see the full line up here.

Meditation & Embodied Flow™ Yoga with Flo

Paid Offering: £10 

Saturday: 10.45 – 11.45

​Embodied Flow​ is an evolved and transformational style of yoga which was founded in 2013. It is a continuum of movement and mind body connection integrating the discoveries of hatha, tantra and somatic movement systems, which invites you to experience your deepest sense of self, the felt sense, with ease and clarity. This is meditation in action expanding awareness of your entire mind, body and soul. All levels welcome.


Psychedelic Yoga and Sound Meditation

Yoga for the preparation, navigation & integration of the psychedelic experience.

The session will incorporate asanas (to prepare the body), pranayama (to quieten the mind), and mudras (to focus energy), leading to a guided sound meditation created with a 38” Planet Gong, Tibetan & crystal singing bowls, shamanic drums, ocean drum, shanti chimes.

‘Psychedelic Yoga & Sound Meditation’ was created by Phil & Jamie from Infinite Spirit Sounds, in association with The Psychedelic Society.


Andy Raingold: Dance of Life – Experience evolution in 46 minutes.

Explore your journey to the present moment in an evolutionary dance that will take you through the 4.6 billion year history of life on our planet to the present day in 46 minutes. This cosmic experience combines sensory awareness, visualisation and movement medicine that will connect you to the awareness of everything that makes you who you are – from stardust to primordial bacteria.

Andy is co-founder of Change in Nature, a pioneer & activist in sustainability & transformative change.


Talks and Workshops


We have an exciting program of talks and workshops provided by experts from around the world, and below are a few examples of the topics you can expect this year. 

See the full line up here.


Darren Springer: An introduction to Permaculture

Permaculture is a practical method of developing ecologically harmonious, efficient and productive systems that can be used by anyone, anywhere.

This will be an interactive introductory workshop looking at the fundamental ethics and principles of permaculture, while learning practical tips for personalising and implementing these tools in our busy daily urban settings.


Steve Rolles: What a legal recreational drug market would look like in the UK

In the last few years the legalisation of drugs has moved from a theoretical debate to policy reality across the world. But how would different legal drugs be regulated – which drugs would be available, who controls the market, and who has access to it?

Steve Rolles – Senior policy analyst for Transform talks about their ‘Blueprint for Regulation’, how they are making it a happen, and how you can help.


The Alternative UK: Imagining different futures labs

  • If Politics is Broken, What’s The Alternative? Friday 1-2

Who is the human being at the heart of politics? Is all I need a job and a tax cut, or is it time to recognise my emotional and spiritual needs too? Find your political calling as Artist and Ritualist Gaia Harvey Jackson leads us to dance, drum and chant our way into a new experience of power and possibility.

  • If Politics is Broken, What’s The Alternative? Saturday 1-2

We all dream of a new world, but how can we begin to make that a reality? What are the new cultures and ways of being together that are going to lead to a genuine transition? In this workshop Artist / Priestess Sarah Zaltash with Dancing Alchemist Kyle Reeves will be using a collective visualisation manifestation to imagine the changes we want to see in the world.

  • If Politics is Broken, What’s the Alternative? Sunday 1-2

Can our transformational cultures and practices have any impact upon the the multiple crises of climate change, poverty and mental illness? Join Indra Adnan and Pat Kane, Co-initiators of The Alternative UK in a fishbowl conversation. As they connect their personal and collective awakening to a radical new politics for the future, you connect yours.


Chris Timmermann: The Neuroscience of The DMT Experience

In a landmark study, intravenous doses of DMT were administered to healthy volunteers. Advanced methods were used to map the experience and brain dynamics induced by DMT. Join Chris to hear the results and their relevance for the study of consciousness.

Christopher Timmermann obtained a BSc in Psychology in Santiago, Chile and a MSc in Cognitive Neuroscience at the University of Bologna in Italy.


Ceremonies, Circles and Crafts  

See the full selection here.

CBH Integrative Mindfulness by Monica Gomes with invited guest Jamie Chan

Creatively drawing from a range of schools and healing practices, from psychotherapy to sound, Monica invites you on a collective journey into the self. The workshop will use techniques from CBH but in a group setting for generate social awareness.

Through the theme of togetherness, Monica & Jamie with share and practice techniques to break free from unhealthy and negative thoughts we hold onto, building individual and collective awareness about how these thoughts are formed, alongside the tools to help guide us to release and respond differently to situations.


Psychedelic Colouring – Jessica Legon & friends

Come and join us in the Psychedelic Colouring Tent for a free colouring sheet and let your creativity flow with pencils, glitter pens and markers for as little or as long as you like. Float away into psychedelic inkscapes, rest, recharge and leave your worries behind!

We are passionate about spreading the message about safe and appropriate psychedelic use and Jessica is the writer and illustrator of the Psychedelic Harm Reduction Colouring Book.


Therapists and Healers


Each year our community of expert practitioners, therapists and healers expands, taking in more holistic practices and offering guests the opportunity to try a variety of alternative therapies in an intimate, welcoming and informative environment.

In 2018 our family continues to grow, and these are just a few of the wonders you can expect to enjoy…

See the full selection here.


Community Acupuncture Clinic in The Shanti Space

Paid Offering

Saturday 11am – 1pm,

Contribution £25

In need of some R&R? The Shanti Space is offering acupuncture to relieve any tension, rebalance and support your energy. Come relax and be nourished in the community vibe of space where multiple people can be treated. Shanti Shanti.

Jack brings an empathetic sensitivity and authenticity to his work. As a classical acupuncture and Qigong practitioner, he works with life cycles, rhythms and birth energies to restore health and well-being.


Shiatsu & Reiki with Athena Gargerou

Paid Offering throughout the weekend: 

Join Athena under the trees or in the comfort of her own tent to experience ancient energy healings Shiatsu & Reiki.

Shiatsu involves pressure on the acupuncture points along the body with fingers, palms, elbows, or knees, in order to rebalance its energy (ki) boosting circulation & promoting health.

Reiki (Universal Life Energy) is healing energy directed from the practitioner to the receiver through his/her hands. It enhances emotional stability, enthusiasm for life and intuition whilst also helping to overcome addictions and speeding up the healing of injuries.

Both practices are safe, natural & simple ways to calm & boost the body; releasing toxins & helping personal growth: the two combined is pure magic!

Athena is a Reiki & Shiatsu master, Trained in London & India with 12 years of experience.

Reiki or Shiatsu 45 min (full body) £35

Reiki & Shiatsu combination 75 min (full body) £60


Healed Soles with Veronica Amarelle

Paid Offering throughout the weekend, prices as below.

Bringing you a light, playful and deeply therapeutic approach to healing and wellbeing. With 11 years’ experience in the industry Veronica applies a holistic practice to her treatments, intertwining the incredible healing benefits of bodywork, energy healing and personal development to ensure each and every person is nurtured from the outside in and the inside out.

Treatments – Reflexology / Raynor Massage / Indian Head Massage / Energy healing

£35 – 30 mins / £65 – 60 mins / £95 – 90 mins / £115 – 120 mins


Massaura Bliss Massage

Paid Offering throughout the weekend, prices as below. 

A festival spa encompassing delicious decor, a team of friendly therapists and a combination of massage and natural beauty techniques which make up Massaura Bliss Holistic Therapies.

These include Indian Head Massage, Deep and / or Swedish massage, Acupressure, Manual Lymphatic Drainage, Thai Yoga Massage, Natural Facials, foot and hand scrubbing and the rare and decadent four hands massage. The massage entails the therapeutic touch of two therapists where you will experience the energetic vibrations of each and the body will be even more relaxed then that of a massage you are probably used to bringing a serene but energetic flow to your physical and spiritual self.

Quick Boost          15 minutes – £10

Knot a Problem    30 minutes – £25

Melting Tensions 45 minutes – £35

Revitalised                 60 minutes – £50

Restored                90 minutes – £75

Bliss – Four Hands Massage 45 minutes – £60

Range of treatments: Thai Yoga Massage / Thai Foot Reflexology / Deep Tissue Massage / Myofascial Release / Trigger Point Therapy / Face Relaxation Massage and Facials / Swedish Massage / Seated Acupressure / Pregnancy Massage / Indian Head Massage / Manual Lymphatic Drainage / Hot Stone Massage


Togetherness London Presents


This year we are excited to welcome organisation Togetherness London into the fray, and they have an incredible series of experiences planned, exploring playfulness, meaningful connection and sexuality. Some highlights are as follows. 

See the full line up here.

Tell me what you want

A 60 min school of intimacy, exploring what you like and what you don’t like. Boundaries, how you like to touch and be touched, whether you are serving, taking, allowing or receiving. Most people never think about this and it can have profound beneficial effects on all your relationships and all areas of your life.

UV Underwear Dance Party (2 hours)

Legendary duo DJ Bobby Lost and Stefan the Bavarian pair up to lead you on 2 hours of UV Underwear Dance Party magic. Get into you underwear, grab some UV pens and make live art on each other! Arty, sexy, psychedelic and super body positive. Laugh, dance, draw, sweat, collaborate and celebrate being alive right now.

Aerobics and Power Ballads with Stefan

60 min playful morning power ballad workout with lycra-clad Bavarian Stefan, a well known feature of the The Club House, Village Hall and play teams at festivals across the UK. Bring your sweat bands, bring your lycra and prepare to be power-ballad-propelled into your day. We will pump away in unison to 80s classics. Seriously playful, seriously sweaty, seriously fun.

Love Ritual

Yeah its the love ritual! A 60 min ceremony to go deeper in connection with another. With deep respect and gratitude for each other we will make offerings and gestures feeding the soul place and the soul of the world. Yeah it will also be a bit playful, a bit sensual. Come with someone, an intimate friend, partner or close friend, maybe someone you’ve just met this weekend for a little bit of special time.


We have so much more to shout about, including a host of arts and crafts, food workshops, yoga, talks and debates, circles, ceremonies, banquets, hot tubs, spiritual practices and much, much more.

Stay tuned for updates and information on our pre-booking system, and to read about our full program visit our Mind Body Soul Page here.


Namaste xxx


The Kastle

Lismore: A weekend of weirdness

A story based on the fairy tale of Rapunzel 


Once upon a time, in the ancient sea lochs of the Western Scotland a gaggle of glorious beings lived happily in an unholy union of double trouble, romping around their magical mossy mountain home.


They lived a peaceful life worshiping a wide pantheon of major and minor gods, as is the tradition in the area. Primary among the deities was the un-demanding Kevin Peterson, who’s benevolent influence and unusual hair captured the communities attention. Minor deities such as a partly inflating giant flamingo, a micro art car crafted with sellotape and a sheep skull, and Captain Haddock were also kept on hand for more specific needs.


One happy family living in this enchanted land was Asterix and Obelix and their Gimp pet Centurion. They lived on a mossy hobbit house being an enormous surprisingly small Kastle lived in by a powerful and magical alien sorcerer and his astronaut wife. The alien spent all of his time kultivating enchanted krispy kale while his dear space lady taught synchronised swimming to the local monster population.


Yeti and the Loch Ness Monster were particularly good pupils and hoped one day to make it to the national monster SS play offs. Of course the mermaids were always the champions, with the kelpies hot on their heals, but these two monsters believed strongly that with their astronaut leader coach, they were in with a chance.


One day, Obelix found himself gazing wistfully a the Krispy Kale, it looked so damn tempting, soooo delicious. He soon became obsessed and felt into a deep depression, stoped eating and slowly receded into his shell. His lover Asterix saw what was happening and resolved to hop over the wall and steal his darling some Kale to cure his love.


The first trip was a huge success, he immediately bumped into the Kastle garner, Groundskeeper Willie who after inviting him into his home for a quick orgy with his housemate Marge, lead him to the best Kale, and he returned, infected with gonorrhea but triumphant. Through an elaborate network of tubes, managed to get the Kale into dear Obelix’s unwilling body. Almost immediately Obelix jumped up, cured, happy and back to his usual self.

However, soon enough the depression set back in and Asterix had to return to the Sorcerer’s garden. This time, as he began to clamber over the wall it began to move and shake. He gave a shout of surprise as the wall came to life.


“Who try’s to climb over me, state your business!”, Asterix was flummoxed, he didn’t know what to say. At that very moment, a small Mexican man galloped over on a bright orange human, kicking it in the ribs hard to stop, and laughing as it squealed.


“You must write on the wall, something humorous, otherwise it’ll never let you over”, she said.


After much consideration, Asterix grafted some hilarious Gaelic proverbs onto the wall, and, sure enough, managed to hop over, grab the kale, and return his lover to health.


However, of course, the kale ran out, and emboldened by his previous success, Asterix hopped over the wall (having drawn a large penis on it), dived in the the Kale patch, and was just about to head home with his harvest, when he noticed he was being watched by the alien sorcerer.


“Who do you think you are that you can come over here and help yourself to my kale!?” he said wrathfully, the anger clear in his eyes.


Asterix, trembling, explained himself, and the sorcerer’s eyes softened. “I can see the love you hold for Obelix, and understand your pain. If give us your Gimp then you can carry on harvesting my Kale with no disturbances. He will be looked after well, taught synchronised swimming by the best in the business, and you can have occasional supervised visits.


Asterix thought long and hard, but knew underneath what he needed to do. He want home, dressed the centurion up in his favourite tiny skirt, with no pants (obviously) and lead him to the Kastle on his lead, where he was ensconced into he uppermost turret to while away his days smoking bambalachacha.


One day, Kanye and his alter ego Jesus, was playing hoops with himself in the enchanted forest when they heard some alluring squeals from the top of tiny tall tower. KanyeJesus was instantly aroused by the idea of saving anything at all with his divine powers, and if he was gong to come out of it with a human slave, then he was all ears.


He called up to the top the tiny tower which was so small that the roof was in the clouds and he could barely see his prey leaning out of the window, “centurion, centurion, let down your pubes and I shall save you!.”


The centurion unzipped his mask and shouted “Eat the kale and you shall have my pubes”.


KanyeJesus obediently ate some of the Krispy Kale and sure enough, the tower grew and grew and grew until it was just tall enough for him to grab hold of the centurions pubes, hauled himself up and carried the centurion down the steps.


The day after was a happy day in the mountains. All of the magical creatures gathered in the pouring rain and gales (their favourite weather), and watched Centurion and KanyeJesus get married. Aaliyah officiated the wedding, while R Kelly watched from the back as he likes to at family occasions.


And they all lived happily ever after, until an unpleasant incident where they all used outdoor sparkers indoors, and died of carbon monoxide poisoning.


The end.