Deep in the realms of a post apocalyptic parallel universe, where time itself ground to a halt after one too many low frequency oscillations, a barbaric horde of recently redundant fitness instructors and curling enthusiasts formed a brotherhood. The aim, to create a nucleus of bass so ripe with turgidity that even the impotent would be rendered priapic.
Cryogenically frozen at some time in the 80’s, the helmspeople of The Leisure Centre are thrusters of the highest degree. No prisoners are taken on their dance floor, and much like the non-newtonian properties of custard, if you stop moving, you’ll sink.
This year sees a battle of the beats and a barrage of bass, as esteemed outfits from around the country go head to head to see who can tear the other a new something or other by the end of the weekend.
The Leisure Centre aggressively welcomes Wonkay Records, featuring artists Sample Junkie, Aytch and Audio Gutter, whilst Tumble Audio are bringing Deadbeat UK, Fish and Hank Limit for a chosty takeover.
Alongside the aforementioned bass heavy heritage, Manchester’s Illuminaugty are coming to smash out their extra double awesome super special Illuminasty DnB session, with Sub Zero and MC 3Style, Travesty, Hazel Soze, and several other undesirables.
Meat Katie and Ben Coda’s radio show, Lowering the Tone will be showcasing many reputable bars of bass, ushering in a new world order via the medium of exceptional taste, flagrant disregard, and lashings of Dopamine.
Finally, firstly, intermittently and perpetually, the Leisure Centre team headed up by Sklep Scoundrel Ed Metcalf and his motley bunch of miscreants. The production will be blinding, the music deafening, the BPM swifter than a Suzuki and the vibe unhinged.
Head to the Leisure Centre at Noisily this year and be afraid, but in a nice way.